


The Porn King: A Fractured Fairytale

by mischief5



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-30
Updated: 2010-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mischief5/pseuds/mischief5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney is the Porn King, John is seriously screwed up, both are lost until they find each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Porn King: A Fractured Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> I'm blaming neevebrody and lavvyan for this one: Neeve for the dream thing and lavvyan for the Rodney is God thing. With thanks to melagan for the brainstorming and the last line. Also, neevebrody and melagan get credit because, before BJF, I was a nice girl who never wrote explicit sex. Thanks, gals!

Rodney McKay was the most wonderful, the most benevolent Porn King in all the Land. He was so wonderful and so benevolent that, when he wasn't making the grandest, most wonderfullest porn films ever, he would go from city to city and allow his fans to gaze upon him while he told them how wonderful he was.

For a fee, a small fee, he would allow his fans, both male and female, to kneel on a footstool with its crushed velvet cushion and kiss his body in carefully drawn zones.

Now, there was a sapphire that matched his eyes placed in his navel so no one could kiss him there. That was forbidden. There were two beautiful silver guards placed over his nipples, held with sapphire tipped pins that went through the tender flesh, and flat guards around the aureoles so no one could kiss there; that too was forbidden. And he wore elegant blue trousers with a silver belt, the belt a reminder that no one could kiss or touch him below the waist.

Around his navel, and around each nipple, were drawn elaborate circles, beautifully hand-painted, where his fans could, for that small fee, kiss him. For a slightly larger fee, Rodney would place his hand on their heads and caress them as they kissed him. For a modest but not inconsiderable fee, Rodney the Porn King would smile for the camera as they kissed and he caressed, and later, for another fee, he would autograph the photo.

This pleased both his fans and his accountants so Rodney the Porn King allowed it. Plus, it gave him plenty of time to work on his Grand Unified Theory of Everything when he was alone.

Two tall, handsome men, Ole and Sven, were devoted to him and stood by in case anyone tried to take advantage. Sometimes, when the fans were all gone and the doors were all closed, Rodney would lean back and let his handsome guards give him the blowjob they had so sweetly earned.

~*~

John Sheppard was a humble man. He lived alone, flew his helicopters, and studied advanced math, all while knowing exactly how fucked up he was.

He had two friends, Teyla and Ronon, who hated to see him so alone. They coaxed him out into the World to go running and sparring, and brought him news of great things. John read the paper and watched TV (but only sports and movies with explosions) so he missed out on a lot of things. When Teyla and Ronon said Rodney the Porn King was coming to town, John said, "Who?" His friends knew then just how truly fucked up John really was that he didn't know about the Great Porn King and his Visits.

They asked John to fly them to the city in his Pave Hawk so they could gaze in wonder upon Rodney. John, who didn't like crowds or the city, said yes, because they were his friends and didn't mind that he was fucked up.

They flew in early so Teyla and Ronon could get in line for good seats, and buy the gold tickets that would allow them to kiss the Porn King, and have him touch them, and get their photos taken, and, hopefully, chat with him while he gave them his autograph. Teyla and Ronon were so excited but John wasn't impressed. He dressed simply in a t-shirt and jeans (black, always black) and packed a small bag with his newspaper, a sudoku book, and his math books so he'd have something to do while he waited for them.

The Event was held in the city's greatest Hall and the Hall was decorated to fit the presence of the Porn King. John still wasn't impressed, never having seen any of Rodney's films or photographs, so he found a comfortable chair in the lobby and settled in for the day. He watched, from time to time, all the excited fans go in, chattering and nervous. Later, he watched them come out, some so overcome they were weeping and had to be led away. John didn't think about it too much because he had his books, and he knew he was fucked up, so it really didn't matter.

After a while, John got thirsty so he gathered his things and went looking for a vending machine. The Hall was huge, and there were so many people, he soon got lost and that annoyed him. He wandered into a small room and saw a man standing there drinking from a bottle of water. The man was turned away from him and was wearing a rich blue robe, so John thought he might be one of the City Fathers and would know where he could find something to drink.

"Hey, buddy," he said. "Do you know where I can get some water?" The man turned and John was stunned.

He was the most beautiful man John had ever seen in his long, fucked up life. He had sandy brown hair, and amazing blue eyes, and his skin was milk white and soft.

The robe hung open and John could see silver guards on the man's nipples and a sapphire in his navel and lovely, painted circles on his skin.

Without thinking, John walked to him and touched his face. "Where have you been?" he asked. "I thought I'd never find you." Carefully, so carefully, he slipped the robe from the man's shoulders and palmed his strong, thick arms. He took his hands, rubbed his thumbs across the man's knuckles, and lifted them, kissing each finger gently.

The man simply stared at him, bewildered.

John reached out and slowly unpinned each nipple, setting the guards and the sapphires aside. He traced one hand down the soft, cuddly belly and plucked the jewel from the man's navel, caressing inside it with the tip of his finger. He loosened the silver belt and let the trousers fall to the floor as he gathered the man to him, whispering in his ear, "I've waited for you for so long."

The man shivered in John's arms and, as fucked up as John was, he knew it wasn't from the cold. He licked the man's neck and nibbled on his earlobe and the man shuddered again, speechless. John traced his hands down the soft, perfect skin and stopped to torment the pretty, pink nipples, teasing them with his rough fingers and laving them with his tongue. Moaning, the man held John's head close and he sucked the nipples into pretty, pink points.

Never had John seen anyone so beautiful, not even Teyla with her lithe grace or Ronon with his tall strength. That alone should have told the World John was fucked up. This man with his wide, sapphire eyes, stunned and searching, and his odd, slanted mouth, wet and inviting, was the most gorgeous man John had ever known. He leaned in and took that mouth, tilted and charming, and licked his way in, groaning with delight. Finally, finally, the man responded and curled his tongue around John's, pushy and demanding. His hands found the hem of John's black t-shirt (black, always black) and John almost whimpered as one strong hand palmed the length of his back and the other slid down under the waist of his jeans (black, always black) to cup the curve of his ass. John felt the man's hard length pressed against his own erection and was overcome by the need to get closer. He ran his hand down the man's broad back (so soft, so strong) and took the plump cheeks (so lush, so smooth) between his two hands and pulled him into the well of his hips.

They unkissed, panting hard, sharing each other's breath, and leaned their foreheads together.

"Please," John whispered. "Please, I want…" And slid gracefully to his knees. The man leaned back, gripping the table with white-knuckled hands, and spread his legs. John took this for the invitation it was, the demand it was, and ran his hands up the strong, sturdy thighs, his thumbs just brushing the large, enticing balls. He tasted one, and then the other, while nuzzling the broad, dark base of the most delightful cock he had ever discovered. The man whined, his hips seeking, and John looked up to see him open-mouthed, his head thrown back, lost in sensation. John grinned, and tongued his way up that beautiful cock, following the big vein until he reached the top, letting the head lay on the pillow of his lower lip.

"Look at me," he breathed, and the man unclosed his eyes. A single pearl of precome decorated John's mouth and he licked it, dainty as a cat. Pupils blown wide, the man combed shaking hands through John's hair.

"Please," he said.

John winked and swallowed him down. He savored the clean, salty taste and the thick, heavy weight on his tongue. The man's thighs began to tremble under his palms and he sucked hard, hollowing out his cheeks as he stared upwards, refusing to look away from those incredible blue eyes. He pulled up and played with intent just below the head before he dipped into the slit, quick little flicks, and a soft, lush kiss. The man shuddered, full bodied, and John's own cock throbbed in reply. Down again, down so far, tongue working every inch until he felt the head hit the back of his throat and he swallowed and swallowed and swallowed. With a glad cry, the man came, hips thrusting, and John took it, took all of him, and braced him so he wouldn't fall. He eased him through the powerful aftershocks, caressed his thighs, his balls, and teased the puckered rim of his ass until he cried out again. Only then did John release him, pulling off, pulling away, and swept the last of the come from his lips with a wicked smile.

Naked and sweaty and flushed, the man pulled at John, pulled him up, and cupped him through his jeans (black, always black), tracing the length of him from his balls almost to his hip. He pulled John's head down and kissed him, long and sweet, while his hands moved, touching John's face, his neck, tugging at his zipper, finding his cock. John moaned then, deepened the kiss, fierce and hungry, and surged into the man's hand, hard and eager. Tight, oh, it was tight, and just so, that little twist on the upstroke and his thumb spreading the come over the head of his cock. John gasped and buried his face in the curve of the man's neck, breathed in his scent (sex and sweat and sandalwood), and shook as he thrust into his hand, into his belly, into his _being_ and came.

~*~

Rodney held the dark stranger, and soothed him with gentle strokes down his back as their breathing evened out and their trembling eased. In all his long reign as The Porn King, no one had ever given him such pleasure so freely. This dark man with his pirate's smile, his sinful green eyes, and his warm, calloused hands was a rare treasure, a wicked delight. Rodney could never repay him for the most wonderfullest blowjob he'd ever known.

"Your name. Your name. What is your name?" Rodney had to know.

"I'm John," the man sighed into Rodney's shoulder. "Who are you?"

Rodney froze, completely baffled. "You mean you don't know?"

John lifted his head and glared at him. "I've only been looking for you all of my life. If I'd known your name, I'd have found you by now."

"But I'm Rodney the Porn King. How could you not know who I am, you moron?"

"Rod_ney!_ Cool!" John grinned. "Teyla and Ronon wanted to meet you."

"Who the hell are Teyla and Ronon?" Rodney demanded.

"My friends. I flew them in just for today."

Rodney rolled his eyes and waved his hands. "Never mind. Listen. That was the most wonderful blowjob I've ever had. How can I thank you? How can I pay you?"

John stepped back, eyes narrowed with sudden anger. "Pay me?" he said in a flat voice.

"Anything you want!" Rodney bounced on his toes and smiled his crooked grin, unaware or not caring he was completely naked except for the circles drawn on his skin. "Money or jewels or land in the West!"

John took two more steps back and tucked himself away in his jeans (black, always black). "Okay, that's just fucked up and I know a thing or two about fucked up!"

"But wait, there's more —"

"I don't want your money or your jewels or your land in the West," John snarled. "Just you. I only want you."

Rodney's heart sank and he shook his head in sadness. "Just me? There's not much to me when I'm not The Porn King. Everyone thinks I'm kind and benevolent and some sort of god. I'm not. I'm petty and arrogant and bad with people. I hide in my lab and work on my Grand Unified Theory of Everything —"

"You do math?" John perked up.

"Of course, I do math, you hair-for-brains idiot. Math is the least of what I do. I know everything about everything!"

"Hey, don't mess with The Hair!" John handed Rodney his robe and put the jewels in the pocket.

"Oh, please. It looks like you cut it with a kitchen shears." Rodney wiped at the mess on his belly with a towel and shrugged into the robe. "What kind of math do you do, anyway? Long division?"

"Come with me and find out." John stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.

"Come with you?" Rodney didn't know what to think about that. Go with John, someone who wanted him just for himself? Someone who liked him, and liked math, and didn't mind his insults? "Where would we go?"

John shrugged and examined the toe of his boot. "I have land in the West, and money, and jewels. I have a Pave Hawk, and a Ferris wheel, and friends named Ronon and Teyla. You'll like them. There's a beach and a city on the sea."

"Really?"

John looked up, hunger and hope in his eyes. "And there's me. I'm pretty fucked up but…"

"You're fucked up? People pay to kiss me! That's fucked up!"

John laughed. It sounded a little rusty but Rodney wanted to hear it again. He stepped closer to John and fisted a hand in his t-shirt (black, always black). "When can we go?"

John ducked his head and kissed him.

~*~

Ole and Sven became the new Porn Kings, loved and adored throughout the land. They made movies, posed for pictures, and traveled from place to place. They welcomed their fans, were kissed, and feted, and made piles of money. In their spare time, they gave each other blowjobs and lived happy, empty lives.

John and Rodney packed up what few things Rodney truly valued — his books, his papers, and his three favorite laptops — and flew home to the West with Teyla and Ronon. Ronon made Rodney work out every day and Teyla gave him a kitten named Psycho. They made new friends: Elizabeth the diplomat and Evan the soldier and Laura who liked to blow shit up. A tall man named Halling and his son, Jinto. Carson and Jennifer, who were doctors, and Mr. Woolsey, the lawyer. There were two retired Colonels named Jack and Steven. Jack was sweet on Daniel, the archeologist, and Steven was sweet on Elizabeth, who tried not to blush. Then there was Sam, who made Rodney stutter, and Radek, a squirrelly little man who made Rodney swear. And Teal'c, who truly was benevolent but watched over them all with a warrior's heart.

With their friends all around them and their city on the sea, John and Rodney lived, well, not happily ever after but happily enough. At least, John's life wasn't quite so fucked up anymore.

 

_ **  
** _

 


End file.
